Friday 11th September

It’s been another beautiful day here down on Honey Farm. So much so that Dolly decided to go topless and ended up burning all six of her nipples. That’ll learn her.

Tomorrow’s looking pretty much the same – lots of sunny skies for most of the UK, with temperatures around 17°C down in Cornwall and rising to a mighty 21°C up in Manchester. Rain clouds will move into northern parts of Ireland in the afternoon, bringing with it heavy and pissy rain to finish the day off. Nice and sunny too in Wales and Scotland.

Down on the farm, the European Court has ruled that the time it takes you to get to work is now classed as work. This is great news for us sheep – we’re going to spend all day ‘walking’ to our work and still get paid for it. God bless the European Union.

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