Weather

National Duvet Day declared

The UK government has declared Thursday a National Duvet Day, in response to the dire weather forecast.

It means that no bastard goes to work but spends the day in bed instead.

A government spokesman said:

“We’re looking for Brownie points right now and one of our guys came up with this lovely idea while he was cleaning out the cat litter tray. We thought it’d be a good idea for everyone just to stay in bed for one day. Forget everything else – let’s enjoy ourselves.”

Workers have reacted with joy, and have pledged their votes to the Tory government at the next election. One worker said:

“After all the fiasco of Brexit, here is something that will bring the nation together as one.”

He was kidding of course.

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