Here in Wales, we’re most used to rain than snow. We are used to pouring water out of our wellies and walking wet mud through the house.
But snow is not that much different. And that’s because snow is in fact FROZEN RAIN. Can you believe it?
A fair amount of snow has already fallen across Wales and things could get a lot worse in the next day or so.
As a result, here’s my guide to surviving a blizzard:
1. Don’t panic.
2. Get in a load of milk and bread. If the shops are empty, steal it from someone else. It doesn’t matter who it is, it’s survival of the fittest in a blizzard and you need that bread and milk.
3. Put the telly on. There’s nothing else you can do except watch telly. Or make love. But telly will keep on going all night if it has to.
4. Don’t panic.
5. If you are caught in a sudden blizzard while you are putting the bins out, go back indoors and put the telly on.
6. If you have work, phone in and tell them that you won’t be in. An official blizzard can be declared ‘at the sight of two or more snowflakes within one square metre’. Don’t take any shit from your boss. They’re working from home so why should you risk your neck for them?
7. Take milk from those who leave their milk bottles outside their front door. This is an invitation for you to take what you want. Aren’t people kind?
8. Moan a bit when you get a bit bored being stuck inside.
9. Don’t panic.
10. Take yourself to bed when telly gets boring.