WEATHER WARNING Tuesday 6th February: Bastard freezing weather and snow

Cold as bastards with a band of sleet and snow moving southeast during the morning. It will turn brighter and drier later on in the afternoon for most but the west can expect some wintry showers. Maximum temperature 5°C.

Down on the farm, Farmer Honey has very kindly bought Mrs Honey a pair of titty warmers. Knitted by a 93 year North Wales woman, the titty warmers perch on the end of one’s nips and keep even the droopiest of Zeppelins nice and toasty.

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